Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML
Today, I got broken up by someone I wasn't even sure I wanted to date in the first place. He also made me realize how little self-respect I have right before dumping me. This is the best thing to happen in my love life in years. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML
Today, after telling my girlfriend that I loved her, she dumped me claiming I was getting "too attached". I've already spent almost $400 on her Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
my right hand never cares how romantic i am.
Jonny_Blaze0017 26
seems as if she was fishing for an excuses to break up
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Comments (104)
outoftown 27
What's the problem? She dumped you for... you. Ergo, you aren't dumped. If you still want her, court her as Anonymous, and enjoy her surpise as romantic clues lead her to... you.
outoftown 27
Oops, 21 said this better. If it works, I'll try to negotiate with GrinchFul for movie royalties ;)
thejimler 9
If it wasn't secret you, it would have been not-so-secret douchebag shortly after. Consider yourself lucky that you found out she is a cheating ***** without another guy in the picture.
kurodansei 16
whoaaaaa slow you're role thier Jim. Braking up with someone is not cheating. And partaking of anothers flour and chocolates does not mean your a *****. Upgrading, while a bit mortifying is for the one left behind, isnt cause for slander.
thejimler 9
Sorry for this but it irks me... *your, *there, *breaking, *another's, *flowers, *you're, *isn't And yes, breaking up with someone to make yourself available to 'better' prospects isn't exactly cheating, but it isn't any less deplorable.
TheJester12 15
Professional masturbator : getting paid to do what you love. It's like being a rock star with small minor differences :D like shame. And constant chaffing .
Bakarra 22
They already have a title for that job, I hear it's called "sperm donor"
TheJester12 15
Bruno mars says you should have bought her flowers. And held her hand. Something about taking her to parties to fulfill her attention ***** need to dance . Try it , you might win her back .
Warmonger_Smurf 29
You'll also need a grenade to catch.
shelbylynnnelson 2
Show her the receipt........
sinn3r76 9
Sounds like that little stunt failed, that was a lame excuse for her to dump you
fml0505 22
Should be an easy fix man, either just tell her it was you or play along with it. Although, you might be better off without her if she would break up with you for something like that in the first place.
EvilUndead 9
Don't ever leave gifts anonymously, because. 1. Watching people's reactions is 90% of fun from giving gifts. 2. If they don't know who the heck sent gifts, they might decide that they're being stalked and freak out, which might get you in trouble.
Vidrill 22
Why would you give your girlfriend flowers anonymously? The whole point is for the receiver to see that you got them something because you care about them and want to make a personal gesture!