Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how she got the scars on her legs. I'd assumed they were self-harm scars. Nope, apparently getting sliced up turns her on, and if I want a good sex life, I'd better get used to cutting her thighs with a razor. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Wow! Balls the size of a globe....now tell me--How do you find underwear to fit your massive man globes?
skitzofunia88 8
His balls genius
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
linkinpark98 24
Your girlfriend is a boss.
cetlawizard 15
How does cutting your nut sack whilst shaving your "globes"....equate to being "fisted by Edward scissor hands"? Did you also cut your anus as well, because otherwise it makes no sense with regards to cut nuts VS sliced ass from the afore mentioned "fisting" (& you can tell her I said that)
deviable 9
Wow, way to over think the fml.
Tez122 6
lol wtf
musicluvr2000 11
Hello mister sissorhands how are you today?
fly101 0
I know I'm going to get thumbed down for this But I still don't get:/
periwinkle95 10
Let me explain, my young grasshopper. OP is a dude that was shaving his balls because they were hairy. He accidentally cut himself in the process of so. His girlfriend is now making fun of him because he cut his balls.
donleischner 0
That's funny right there. I don't care who you are.
ROSEisAmazing01 4
Hehe... Globes. Lol:D that's a funny word to use! I like nutsack better! Lol(:
Ghouly_fml 7
I personally like testicular glands better just because it sound freaking hilarious
crazycooldiva 5
I'm more sadden by the fact you can fist your girl
ForeverAloneGal 23
What would a cut ballsack have to do with a Scissorhands Fist Fest?
katerbug112768 9
Hey, at least you're shaving.