Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Roll down the opposite one first. Your life stinks. heehee.
chalkdust 4
lol @ "privately drowning in my own flatulence"
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Comments (51)
Chuck1993 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ouch. Couldn't you have just driven away?
Adm_Twigs 19
my issue is the statement "its cold outside" even northern Cali is warmer than Mn haha
Tequilamockngbrd 7
You should have written a warning sign for him/her! "Make me roll down this window at your own risk." He/she would have appreciated your honesty, I'm sure. Plus, it'd make you seem all mysterious and jazz. Mysterious is sexy, right?
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Roll down the opposite one first. Your life stinks. heehee.
Jcat_fml 0
I agree, I think I would have done that to let it out, then rolled down the one they were at. That's just nasty.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Was just thinking that. "Accidentally" roll down the other, say oops, then roll down that one. Problem avoided.
tarana 0
I don't know about you, but my car doesn't have automatic windows, so I have to reach down and roll them open. Makes it a little harder to accidentally roll the wrong window down, haha. Maybe the OP had the same problem.
nihilanth 0
did she choke?
chalkdust 4
lol @ "privately drowning in my own flatulence"
blland 0
i thought that was the worst part. i mean, would you rather smell shit or let someone else do it for you?
perdix 31
Maybe you'll be lucky and find out that he is into Cleveland Steamers, Boston Pancakes, Dirty Sanchez, blumpkins, etc. and will pop a boner at your poo-scented aroma. You spins the wheel, you takes yer chances.
Intoxicunt 6
You forgot Alabama Hotpocket, the best one!
perdix 31
I also neglected the Alaska Pipeline. I'm not into that stuff, but I'd do one for Sarah Palin.
nrsbabs06 0
OMG this one is awesome!
stlkid 0
damn that suucks
realsiq 0
haha i would have just driven away
LeStab 4
you were privately drowning in it wow your ******* wierd
Acid80 3
Why did you not just leave the car?