dogggg
Pune, India
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
killjoyx
Suffolk, United States
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Anonymous
Nutritious
Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML
aaalias34
United States
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Andrea Trevor
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Username
United States
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
SHIT-BREATH
Chepstow, United Kingdom
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Vicky
My BFF
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Steve
Self-defeating move
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Top comments
Crazynocatlady 22
He was probably just trying to get rid of the taste of his balls.
martialart1st18 19
Ew you need to wash your face.
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Comments (77)
Kergami 18
Awww that's cute and adorably disgusting.
whyisitincapital 25
Why did you let him lick your face then?
False_Stupidity 42
Sometimes, you don't have much of a chance to stop them.
hacksaw246 24
The game changer in all this is was the water inside clean?
OysterPearls 33
Yeah, those new-fangled toilet water filtration systems are top of the line nowadays.
VyronBuckingham 9
Awwwh so cute! Only if there was shit on his tongue
Mii99 16
Wtf
magikarpsmurfs 19
He probably just thought you were angry for not sharing with you & that you would want a taste too.
Superspiderbat 23
You're lucky the toilet was flushed. If the toilet was not flushed this would be a different FML
martin8337 36
Talk about getting shitfaced.
Antonhjn 11
Applaus for all of your tries and succes.
ThepurpleCow 19
Cut off the dogs tounge. Or make him lick himself.
Respect101 17
One if you cut his tongue off, that's animal cruelty and two, dogs already lick themselves.
blazerman_fml 17
Agreed #27.#22 they also lick their genitals and then lick you.Invade you didn't know. :)
whymeplease44 8
that's animal abuse which is illegal asshat
blazerman_fml 17
Well if it makes you feel any better.The place where u keep your soap has more germs than your toilet seat!If you think of it that way its not so bad.
Vanshikap 24
In his defense, he thought u were mad coz he wasn't sharing. He was just being nice OP.
Soundslikeothers 15
Apology? You mean Payback!
mete_orito 34
What else can expect OP from his dog after it being yelled by him, right?