Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML
Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML
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Top comments
iGotBieberFever 0
Find a better job ! Then he'll be begging for you to come back ! FYL
Talez 0
sucks to be you
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Comments (171)
slyrat 1
HEY HEY GUYS, did ya know that attractive women with large breasts can NEVER be more qualified for a job than a man???
NicoleIAm 0
And why not? Not all attractive people are idiots. My best friend is really pretty and she has really good grades, I'm sure she could grow up to be more qualified than a man.
slyrat 1
I was being sarcastic. :P
FrankTheTank41 0
Work ethic and all that jazz is priority. Your boss unfortunately has his mixed up. Its not always about the boobs!!
Rooki_fml 0
Pop her boobs
jerry10394 0
everyone knows that if you want to get promoted you hav to **** your boss
toufuge 0
That's why she was hired for SALES. To quote dilbert, "being attractive is like having a superpower" - she could get guys to buy anything!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Exactly ;) She's just better at convincing men and lesbians of what they want to buy. In her case, it's an, erm, acquired "skill."
taco789 0
now all you have to do is **** your boss even though your a guy
CrazyCatCookin 0
worlds largest boobs are ZZZ and they're real. big boobs don't mean fake. the only way to know forsuemm is toask or get em undertwater and see if they float (real) or sink(fake)
tom2516 0
19 ur hot
phishophobia 0
wouldn't you
taco789 0
hahaha no I for one am not gay no offense to gays