Today, I came to a realization that the closest people to me in my life, the ones who are warm and welcoming, who're happy to see me, who honestly wanna know how I've been and how I feel, whose smiles make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, are the baristas at Starbucks, not my actual 'friends'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I spent years making fun of people who buy expensive coffee every morning instead of making it at home, and after I got a remote job and started living alone, I realized the barista at the café is currently the closest thing I have to a social life. Yesterday she remembered my order and I nearly felt emotional. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML
Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML
Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
if they work at Starbucks, they dont really care how you feel. They're just getting paid to pretend to care.
Intoxicunt 6
It only makes you feel warm and fuzzy because the coffee is hot. I'll be your friend!
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Comments (111)
runawayy 0
i'm a starbucks barista, and sometimes i feel like the people who appreciate me most are my customers whose names and drinks i remember every single day.
miss_sbux 0
Story of my life. I agree that some baristas may put on the whole "i care" act. However most of the baristas i encounter (save for one location) are arrogant and rude. They glare at you while ordering as if "why are you here bothering me with your insignificant presence." Not much of an experience i say. Some dont say a word but just give you a look at the cash register and remain silent the entire transaction. However there are some baristas i know that genuinely care. In a university town they know that most of the patrons wont be tipping as they are students like themselves. All are friendly and cordial but some go the extra mile. Once all the students return in September, some go out of their way to hear what you did in the summer and are all "OMG i havent seen you in FOREVER!" Its a nice place to visit when needing to relax or just perk your spirits.
blehx 0
stop being so clingy.
IIlIIlIlllIllIlI 0
NO LIFE STORIES
prufrockin 0
Well, we get paid to be civil and make your coffee; we get tipped because we care. (I certainly hope you're tipping your baristi, if they mean this much to you!) I tend to give my customers exactly what they give me, in terms of attitude... so I suggest that anyone who encounters rude service at any coffee shop, not just Starbucks, either be nicer to your servers, or go to a different shop. They'd appreciate it, trust me.
Crazy_Pants 0
I think ppl are gravely underestimating the amount of money that Starbucks baristas get paid or tipped. It's a really tough thing to try to make a living off of. I love the conversations that I have with customers and I love talking to regulars about their day and, if I can, making it a little better. There's not really another reason to be broke all the time outside of work. I'll bet your baristas love you and love talking to you. Don't let them ppls up there sway you. They dunno your baristas or the situation. Some of my best friends are Stabucks baristas :D word.
Sipos 0
It's creepy how overly friendly people are working in places like that. I don't want the random person in Starbucks that I've never seen before and probably will never see again, to ask how my days going. I know they don't care. I guess people tip them out of some misplaced guilt that they are so nice so they carry on.
jakeidk 0
hey! how have you been? *smiles* I'm so glad to see you. it's been like 16 hours. want extra caramel?
tswizzle 0
the wording of this one puts it in that very elite category of actual LOL's! hilarious
Tomaten 0
You should buy a dog. A dog is always glad to see you, and he is always yours. He will never let you down, and he will comfort you when you are sad. And you will meet new people when you take a walk with him.