Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
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Top comments
CsHx 16
Just don't let him "sleepwalk" back into your apartment.
SillyGirl4602 23
Your boyfriend really is a dumbass if he thought that you would actually believe that he was sleepwalking. On the bright side, be happy that you found out about it. Now you can dump him and find someone new.
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Comments (84)
Jacksparrow72 21
Dump his ass.
cartedor 18
Please tell me you swung your arm like Nadal and snapped him so hard that his face sheared off to help wake him up from his sleepwalking syndrome
radianceepica 9
Everything happens for a reason, and well now you know the reason for leaving your phone behind. You are lucky you found out now and not later and lucky you caught him instead of having something worse happen later on.
Helldemon 32
Exactly, people keep saying "you drove 2 hours for your phone?" but if she hadn't who knows when she would have found out about this scumbag cheating on her.
CharDee 15
I feel bad for you... but I would dump him.
appelflap 22
Make him sleepwalk into the nearest river ;)
taybay23 13
2hr drive? The things we do for our phones. Oh, and your bf is an ass
enty6003 18
YDI. You brought the cheating on yourself. Wouldn't have strayed if you'd given better & more frequent head. And made more effort appearance-wise. The formula for keeping a guy is painfully simple. No sympathy for failing. Sorry but its the truth.
xgetxbentx 13
Well, I guess it's a good thing you forgot it. The sooner you found out that he was a scumbag, the better. Still sucks of course, but now you can focus on yourself and finding someone worth your time.
Fmlsea 28
id kick him in the balls and threw the neighbor out on her ass . mayabe staying longer with family is a good idea .
Odyy_fml 7
who the **** drives 2 hours for a phone!? what the hell?? are you a business executive who must be available 24/7???