Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
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Top comments
CsHx 16
Just don't let him "sleepwalk" back into your apartment.
SillyGirl4602 23
Your boyfriend really is a dumbass if he thought that you would actually believe that he was sleepwalking. On the bright side, be happy that you found out about it. Now you can dump him and find someone new.
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Comments (84)
Irchell 17
I don't get all the drama? I would've drove 10 hours back for my phone.
AnimeBitch 14
"It wasn't me."
Fleonix 4
Well, now you can go and do a girls gone wild to get back at him. Happy spring break.
Portugirl 13
That really sucks, but who'd make a 2 hour drive just for their phone?
naiveprophet 15
What kind of "with" are we talking? "Hanging out with" or "Sleeping with"? Because, I mean, someone who drives two hours for a phone may just be blowing this all out of proportion...
samimcCune 15
if you're posting this after the fact, why are you still using the term boyfriend? how about black and blue patient at *insert hospital name here* as for her, i hope she picks up and moves fast, because she is not safe at her current residence.
jaybear13 14
I wonder what you did in this situation. Hopefully you sumpes him slapped him and the neighbor,moved out so no awkward moments. Well best of luck.