Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
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Top comments
CsHx 16
Just don't let him "sleepwalk" back into your apartment.
SillyGirl4602 23
Your boyfriend really is a dumbass if he thought that you would actually believe that he was sleepwalking. On the bright side, be happy that you found out about it. Now you can dump him and find someone new.
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Comments (84)
manchild0225 6
Damn technology making it hard to cheat now. That is something drove 2 hours for a cell phone must-have great gas mileage oh sorry bout the cheating bit. Sucky what to start a break
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think it's good she found out. Of course, it would've been better if her boyfriend WEREN'T a cheating asshole. But now OP can focus on her family, friends, and meeting someone new. :)
snufflebubble 13
That's a new one. If he's that moronic to think that this is a good way to get out of a sticky situation- you might be better off.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think she's better off anyway. Lol. It sucks that he was cheating on her, but at least she found out!
deathtothepix 26
The old "I slept walked into her." He's done you a favour, can't even come up with a more original excuse.
woiz 11
remember guys !sleep walk is no good specially to ur neighbor's apartment while gf is not around !!!
LaLince 40
What's the problem if your neighbor sleepwalks? YDI
DocBastard 40
She deserves to find her boyfriend ******* the girl next door? Please oh please explain how. I'd love to hear your explanation.
Mads_1234 28
I think you missed the entire point of this FML.
spazz666 18
22, the FML is about OP finding her scumba--I mean boyfriend cheating on her. Now tell me, how exactly does ANYONE deserve this? I don't even wish cheating on cheaters. It destroys trust and can seriously affect any future relationships OP may have.
gc327072 31
This is one of those comments that's so retarded, it makes me wish I could shove my hand through the Internet to have it pop out the other side and slap the commenter. READ THE FML, DUDE!
ni0ve 9
wow, he couldnt wait until he got the 'I got to my parents home just fine' call?!
martinfml 8
Guess not. Well, a wise man once said: "Things happen for a reason." In this case you forgot your cellphone. Oh and, he wouldn't receive no "I got to my parents home just fine call?!" Because she forgot her cellphone. And by the way why did you need to come back to get your cellphone?
cupcakechick 17
I hate cheaters, they piss me off, if you feel the need to sleep with someone besides your significant other, then break up with them first. god
deathtothepix 26
Some people are incapable of doing the simplest tasks.
Chucklikesbacon 12
Good you forgot your phone, think if you' d not found out then, that would be worse! I'm sorry that had to happen to you though, OP!
perdix 31
They were probably just brainstorming to find a way to get your forgotten phone to you on spring break. Without your phone, how could he contact you to find an address where you can receive your phone? Why is everyone so suspicious these days?
GhostChickens 17
Why do people get into relationships if they want to sleep with someone else? Don't commit yourself verbally if you can't do it physically. Go for an open relationship or casual dating. Sleep-steal his TV.