Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
Twisted firestarter
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
FIRE!
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Felt cute, might delete myself later
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Can't take my eyes off you
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Roommates from hell
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Watch that become the next big thing in the carpet industry: The Silly Band Carpet, only available from Empire Today!
lildevil963 0
in da hood we wear dem getto silly bands tht only look like circles
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Comments (145)
EvilDave 13
If your fireplace can melt silly bands sitting on the carpet, then your fireplace is a fire hazard.
The_Creeper_fml 8
As this being an argument based on personal opinion, I vote for George Clooney in a banana hammock.
BenignSociopath 10
So are you saying you left a kidd young enough to be into the silly band fad at home alone with a fire burning big enough in the fireplace that it generated enough heat to melt the silly bands? Young kidd + fire burning in fire place and all you got was melted rubber on your carpet = you're extremely lucky.... But still Ydi. Just for not keeping an eye on her around a fire anyway...
ChibiChibi_fml 28
How do you know the child was home alone? There are some children who still have two parents. Their dad could have been watching them. Also sticky bands are popular with people well into their twenties so your logic is faulty.
shoelaces301 0
you make no point. there is no such thing as sticky bands, its called SILLY bands
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Actually your wrong because there is such a thing as sticky bands, you just get them out of gumball machines. However, I apologize for saying sticky when I meant silly bands. I was distracted when I was typing my comment. I did still make a point with my original response because they really don't know that the child was unsupervised.
iamelrebel 0
I feel like this is fake because it would take a lot of heat to melt a silly band because they are made of silicone. your carpet would melt first.
MostHatedMan 2
At least you didn't find her boyfriend munching her carpet in front of the fire. Could be worse
Idkanymore92 0
Carpet fireplace=fire hazard. From a fireman's daughter.
AwesumIndianGurl 0
Time for a new carpet!! :) LOL
RachelBerry_fml 5
silly bandz got banned from my high school after one juinor stabbed a freshman killing him bcuz he wouldnt give him the geenie.. i was really good friends with the person who died.. i will never ever wear a silly band again RIP Josh :'(
the4starr 3
gotta love silly bands :/
hollydollyPOP 0
i want a unicorn silly band... O.o