Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Watch that become the next big thing in the carpet industry: The Silly Band Carpet, only available from Empire Today!
lildevil963 0
in da hood we wear dem getto silly bands tht only look like circles
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Comments (145)
Rachel_962613 0
** Ignorance
Rachel_962613 0
no I don't look stupid unlike u in ur pic ... u look like a retard!!! :)
LFAM_fml 0
Silly Bands....omg
jawman 0
lmfaowrotflol (laugh my fing ass off while rolling on the floor laughing out loud)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
If you have to explain what the acronym means was it really worth it to type it in the first place? I'm just wondering.
skyeyez9 25
My daughter loves them, I think they are just stupid, overpriced rubber bands. Even though I refuse to waste $5 on a pack of 15 bands, she still has tons of them from kids at school giving them away. I find the damn things everywhere in the house.
restythestar 0
on another positive note, unicorns.. are awesome.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Damn I love these comments.
Pwnage92 0
Silly bands are so ridiculous, but whoever thought to make them is one rich sonofa bitch.
aiden2976 0
yeah best be keepin your bitches in line, tell her what the back of your hand has to say about thisD=<
mR_StAtiiC 0
what are you talking about overpriced they're a dollar for a pack where I live??
GoingLesbian 0
Some people just have sticks up their asses. The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter!