Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
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Top comments
Nolimit2217 32
He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.
A07 48
Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"
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Comments (75)
Bragi 12
It's time for a family conversation, OP. Get an envelope from a paternity testing service, put a couple pieces of blank paper in it and have in on the table. Start the discussion with "Is there anything you'd like to tell me?"
mistress_paz 30
Try al-anon
Sora_McKain 36
No, please don't. Those meetings are creepy as hell!
thejonac 21
he'll appreciate you calling him dad if you start calling him Richard all the time
Sora_McKain 36
But...my dads name is Richard!
scarred_foreva 40
He seems depressed.
worldclassrager 41
See what a thesaurus gives you that will probably work better...
BITCHIEFACET 7
DNA TEST??
gamernation89 10
I would tell respond with well it hurts me that we are related by blood but hey shit happens nothing we can do about it ??
gamernation89 10
I would respond*
scarred_foreva 40
Hang on, is it the 'hi' or the 'dad' part he had a problem with? Maybe he had enough to drink that he thought you were asking if he was 'high' and didn't like it.
gintwinsmoore 20
Say it everyday until he's sober.
Earth_walker 19
Maybe he thought you meant "High Dad!" And he doesn't want to be called high!