Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nolimit2217 32
He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.
A07 48
Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
janfleury 19
He was drinking. Sorry OP I know it hurt. When he is sober talk to him about it. If he is never sober that maybe the problem.
brvnnx 18
People are so salty on FML, Lol.
Cads1 24
Salty?
DeadHorseman 11
that's a red flag op. i don't know the full context of your family situation but you should keep a watch out for your dad. he might do something in the future if he continues drinking
kavyashahs 16
Try calling him paaaapppaaaa
muarif 19
It could just be one of the bad "dad jokes" xD
hailhydra 6
the dad could just be disappointed at how OP's life turnt out lol but then again he's the one sitting around with nothing to do but drink
sunny354wi 8
That's harsh! Let him sober up and see how he feels then.
aliaelgallad 4
Maybe he didn't drink much
Mojos12 6
Adopted?