Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
skyeyez9 25
my husband tried to pull that shit on me once: Oh I invited some friends over so we need to get some more food. When he said "we" he really meant: I invited my friends over so I expect you to cook for them and clean up afterwards. What ever. He can cook for his own friends. I don't expect him to do that if I have my friends over our house.
perdix 31
Don't get any food -- just lay naked on your bed with your legs spread wide, and when everyone comes over, yell "Tuna tacos for everyone!" On second thought, you can buy a massive amount of Vienna Sausages and tell everyone that they are actual size replicas of your husband's dick. That'll show him!
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Comments (129)
CallMeHush 1
Rope-a-dope.
Shmeaty 0
your life is average. STFU.
skyeyez9 25
my husband tried to pull that shit on me once: Oh I invited some friends over so we need to get some more food. When he said "we" he really meant: I invited my friends over so I expect you to cook for them and clean up afterwards. What ever. He can cook for his own friends. I don't expect him to do that if I have my friends over our house.
Dukaness 0
HAHAHAHA
perdix 31
Don't get any food -- just lay naked on your bed with your legs spread wide, and when everyone comes over, yell "Tuna tacos for everyone!" On second thought, you can buy a massive amount of Vienna Sausages and tell everyone that they are actual size replicas of your husband's dick. That'll show him!
EnvyMe33 26
Hahaha
ragsy 7
Couldn't he buy take out food instead of roses to shred?
hitoshura 0
are you serious? YDI, I wish I had a boyfriend that thoughtful. so what if he's asking you to cook instead of asking you to f***, he was still being creative and thoughful and all sorts of adorable. if he does this, he probably does lots of other sweet things too. get over yourself.
ElizabethNL93 20
It's obviously on FML because she did not think it was adorable. He'd be better off with a girlfriend like you, so he could be a lazy ass all day, and you wouldn't question it when he asked you to "make him a sammich".
hitoshura 0
also, I agree with one of the above posters - you can look at it two ways. sure, you could be disappointed, even mad that he expects you to make food. or you could look at it as the sweetest way ever to ask someone for a favor. I know which way I'd look at it.
caseyjanexoxo 0
haha
RuralNinja 0
YDI. He finds a nice way to ask for a favor, and you spit it back in his face. Quit being a bitch.
englishmuffin 0
Where in the note did he ask for a favor? He didn't ask for anything. He EXPECTED her to just run out and get him and his friends food or cook for them.
Luckster 0
Love how no one seems to get that she expect him to have prepared a romantic evening for the two of them, but was instead simply told "I invited people without telling you. Get us food, bitch!". I'm going to assume most of the commenters here are male.
Hugorgy 0
This.
RuralNinja 0
Thats her own fault for reading too many romance novels and having unrealistic expectations. Every time a guy does something different it doesn't mean he wants sex. He wanted to ask a favor, and found a nice way to do it. And where in the note did it say bitch? I guess because it didn't shower her with endless praise it obviously implied bitch, right? I guess he forgot women are emotionally frail and need constant compliments to function. Also, since he wasn't there it might be a good assumption that he works longer (or later) than she does, did that thought ever cross your mind?
idkweird 0
Actually, Im a female. It was still a sweet, thoughtful way to ask.
englishmuffin 0
RuralNinja, since you're a person against inferring things, where in the note does he ask her anything? It sounds more like he expected her to get or make food. "We need food," not "Can you grab us some food? Thanks." I think rose petals are a nice touch, but it's perfectly justified for the OP to come home from a long day of work and be disappointed if not upset that her boyfriend invited people over and expected her to provide them with food. It's funny how in the FML where a girl wakes up early to make french toast for her boyfriend, everyone backs the boyfriend up for bitching at her about having to wash the dishes.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
RuralNinja: It wasn't her fault for expecting a romantic evening. He's the one that left rose petals everywhere. If I was to ask you to wash my clothes and decided to wrap them up and put a bow on top, who's fault is it if you expect a present? He didn't ask her for a favour. That would of involved calling her/talking to her and asking her politely if she good please get some food. Didn't happen.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#47 win. Also, idkweird is NOT female. Morons with no brain have no gender anyway, they're in the same group with the amoebas etc.