Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she'd cheated on me with my best friend. I can't get mad at her, because I cheated on her with him before she did. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty, because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she cheated on me with my best friend. The best part is that I couldn't tell her a thing, because I actually cheated on her with the same friend before. FML
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say it when I caught him sleeping with my best friend. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
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Top comments
sireen 0
you're pathetic.
EvilHippyEmperor 0
Why can I hear The Offspring's "Self Esteem" playing in my head?
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Comments (159)
xOcameronOx 0
Dude you are a f***ing dick. Love is more important that having sex. She wants to stay with you because she thinks you love her but how can you if you say it's only to 'get laid'? You can't possibly be having sex with someone you don't love that's f***ing wrong.
UncleverName_FYL 0
you must be one of those stupid girls who confuse love and sex.... you don't need to love someone to have sex with them and vice versa. And is it so hard to say the word *******? really how old are you.
UncleverName_FYL 0
*people* .... not girls, i sometimes forget that there are guys out there just as stupid
judgeymcjudge 0
No, ********. He's being honest *here*. SHE thinks he loves her. Therein lies the bullshit factor. He's just as big a prick as she is. Kindly **** off now, yes?
Destinyx 0
No, not **** your life, Just **** you! in general.
darklove6792 0
wow are you that hopeless? or ...are you ugly? douchebag
lc_12 0
That is pathetic..
kira1kira 0
how is this an FML? you are just a very lucky asshole, you suck
Bree16 0
when i first started reading it i felt bad for u but now i feel bad for her..thats seriously messed up that u r just using her for sex
chuckcloseisgod 0
Ugh, I hate pussy-whippers.
omgwtflolz 0
wowww that is horrible. w.e ur gonna feel bad when you tell her that and she gets really upset
Angel12408 0
wow. I felt bad for you at first but you're just an ass. I hope she does it again loser.