Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
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Top comments
wavesofblue 1
$20 isn't expensive...
Rico255 0
mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn
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Comments (221)
CovertMilitance 0
Get the update for FML app. You can change your picture within the app
mfmylifesrsly 30
my friend once told me mascara was made of poop. don't know if it's true or not...
fertie226 1
#38- I heard that too. made of bat poop?
StitchedBear 0
I have the updated version. (: but I still can't figure out how to do it..? help meeee, please?
rockyraccoon28 8
go to "More">"My Account"> "change picture"(bottom left corner)
pieintheface 0
go to more - then go to my account - then tap change picture - then If you have an iPhone you can do camera and photo album, if not, and you have an iPod like me then you can only use photo album
o_trevino92 0
u go to my account tab
fmltiligothigh 0
20 bucks aint a lot
mara16 6
this is hardly a FML moment.
substitutes 0
Go back to the store and make them smell it.
WhyTheFace4 0
That stinks...
BoyFromTheFuture 0
guano? wouldn't there be something on the ingredients list that would = poop. scrolling down the bottle... directions... caution.... ah active ingredients: demineralized water, propylene glycol, sweet almond oil, human shit extract, dead sea salt. oh yeah it's in there.
mockingjay_fml 0
you should've smelt it before hand !