Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
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Top comments
Phalankx 0
Shoulda played dead for a while
plaidrabbit 0
I'm going to assume that by "making a lot of noise," you meant banging on stuff and maybe throwing something, because if you were vocalizing, you weren't really choking. But still, I know how scary that feeling is, and it sucks your mom was a bitch about it.
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Comments (189)
kristina3514 0
I'm getting tired of the my parents are assholes fmls. Not to make this situation any less "important" (I guess) but it just seems every other fml is about a mom/dad doing something unloving.
rallets 23
well do all the FMLs have to be to your liking #43?
purple_roses 0
Wow, some people on here have no idea what they're talking about. By "making a lot of noise," this person probably means banging stuff around, like #5 said. The person probably couldn't cough or breathe. And, if this happens to you, you can't ask for help like #39 seems to think you can. You can, however, give yourself the Heimlich using a chair. Which is what this person did.
shambot 0
I find this story hard to swallow
rallets 23
#46 thats what she said
ecilart 0
lolol #46, you're so punny x)
fml27 0
im sorry. im hope whatever ur mom was talking about with her friend was REALLY important. next time you take one of those pill smash it up and put it in yogurt or apple sauce or something so you wont choke.
kristina3514 0
Where in the fml did I say that they all had to be to my liking u stupid ****. Merely pointing out that's its annoying.
kristina3514 0
I meant where in the comment.
BaldOuting 0
how dare you interrupt her conversation with your choking!