Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
What was your wife going to do? You were already coughing up the oatmeal.
DLBL 23
Yikes. You might need a swallow study completed before food ends up in your lungs.
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Comments (5)
DLBL 23
Yikes. You might need a swallow study completed before food ends up in your lungs.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
What was your wife going to do? You were already coughing up the oatmeal.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Plot twist: the wife was listening to a guide on how to perform the Heimlich maneuver.
core01 30
You were coughing. You were fine.
Chazzster 32
See a doctor. You may have an issue with your esophagus. It’s better to address that now than to let it get worse. They do an upper endoscopy to image the esophagus and stomach. It’s covered by medical insurance and not a bad procedure to have (they put you out while they do it). The doctor can then address the problem if there is one.