Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
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Top comments
Phalankx 0
Shoulda played dead for a while
plaidrabbit 0
I'm going to assume that by "making a lot of noise," you meant banging on stuff and maybe throwing something, because if you were vocalizing, you weren't really choking. But still, I know how scary that feeling is, and it sucks your mom was a bitch about it.
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Comments (189)
lawlkat 0
So... whose "pill" were you choking on? Hmmm?
EMR_fml 0
#70 as has been pointed out a about a dozen times on this thread, making noises does not mean coughing. It probably means the OP was banging on a table/wall, smashing stuff, or kicking stuff over. All of which make noise and you can do while choking. I wish people would read others comments before posting their own.
DarkMirror 0
lol @ #47. Classic xD
xabuko 0
Nice Mom!!!
jewel_505 0
I'm glad some people pointed out that if you can make noise, you are NOT choking. True. I'm a nurse and teach CPR/Basic Life Support...including the Heimlich. Throwing yourself over a chair, fine, edge of a table, whatever, if you're by yourself it's the way to go IF YOU ARE GETTING NO AIR. If you can make noise, you should be able to cough/gag/hack/whatever to get the pill up. If it goes further and completely obstructs the airway, then the Heimlich is obviously needed. It would have been nice if your mom paid attention to you, because that is a really scary feeling, but I'm guessing that you over-react to things quite frequently and this 'fml' is one of those times.
ShelbyG 0
Im monitoring this just because I want to see how many dipshits point out that "Making noise when choking is immpossible." Btw, Read the other comments for once, Then type a comment yourself. Otherwise you're pointing out something somone already pointed. I think the person meant making noise by banging on something, Its doesent have to be noises made with the throat. Jesus. Hahaha. My mom ignores me too. Im the youngest kid in the family and yet my mom talks to my older sister more than me, and shes even in another state. =D
absent_toast 0
87 and 88: Seriously? You read all of the comments and still thought it was necessary to mention that you can't make vocal noise while choking? What, did that make you feel smart? Everyone knows that. The OP clearly meant one of the many other ways to make noise.
GodsNightmare21 0
I would've cursed my mom to f-ing hell. Seriously, God would've have cried
st87 0
death by pill that is supposed to make u feel better?
r0ji 0
What is it with the evil moms on FML, I mean, seriously? I'm starting to lose faith in the human race.