Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
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Top comments
steveykinz0967 16
You should've just told them, the kid deserves to be disciplined anyway
Nymeria_fml 25
I hope your excuse was that you didn't put him in bed because you were too busy eating dick, because that kid just made you his bitch. Nice job babysitting, OP.
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Comments (91)
fantasyworld 39
You couldn't discipline him so you let him have his way?
millertime911 15
I'd be getting out the soap for that one! but u gotta admit thats sum funny shit!! lmao! sorry op!
meepingoreos 6
What was the excuse?
j_cat187 20
child protection laws in the UK
LisaDay 14
you're the grown up. you should have sent him to bed anyway. every kid will argue and say anything to avoid bedtime. ive been babysitting for 10 years, and ive heard a lot worse. you deserve to be in trouble with the parents for not following their rules and sending the kid to bed on time.
fmlrulesBolt 14
You should have told his parents that little Devil
itsme82 18
Ummm if my six year old nephew ever said that to me I would bust his ass. Now I know you couldn't do that in your situation. But you should have one, told him you didn't like the language, and two. Made him go to bed. He now knows he only has to talk to you this way to get what he wants.
PokeZilla 9
You should've been stern with him to teach him some respect rather than let him continue to use that language and ignore your instructions. I hope the TV program you let him stay up to watch didn't have anything inappropriate like what you heard from him.
tbon3r 15
maybe he will be a dicktator one day :)
OhFuck_WHYME 8
dicktatertot.
soulreaper12296 28
You should've told his parents. Otherwise he'll grow-up to be an asshole thinking it's ok to talk to adults like that.
worldclassrager 41
You didn't say to them what he said to you? I think that should be referenced