Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "After I eat" or maybe even "When I'm tired." What I got was "Every second since you were born." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML
Today, I learned that my mother almost did a perfect job being a parent when I was a baby. She was clean during the 9 month period I was in the womb. Unfortunately, she stopped right after giving birth to me, celebrated, and started smoking again. I was breastfed. FML
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
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Top comments
drewflav 17
What's with the string of nasty parents we've been getting? If you don't want kids, don't have them!
buckeyed 20
Sorry OP. Maybe she stopped for her pregnancy and craved it immediately after. Or is lamenting the way her body changed.
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Comments (78)
zahidnasir 22
maybe there is some smoke is your body as well OP
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Tell her she's blowing smoke.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Then poke your tongue out and tell her, you know this because you're awesome.
imbedderdenu 23
you asked. and just to let you know doesnt mean you suck as a kid. all kids drive parents to the brink. so don't feel bad.
metalmommy 8
That's a horrible thing for a mother to say. My mother is just the devil.
musically 7
Well darn
tesla232 2
oh. my. god. your mother is an asshole (no offense to you!). ignore all these ppl trying to justify it with, "being a parent is hard!", "her drug addiction makes it hard for her to ____". no, she's an asshole.
NodakN8V 25
Don't want the answer don't ask the question
ThunderLightTSV 31
Typically from observing relatives it comes when things get a wee bit stressful, to "calm their nerves," although it just causes more from a technical perspective. So...Sorry, OP.
ambersayshii123 17
That's an awful thing to say. I hope she was joking OP. So sorry if she meant it. **** her...