It means us! Look at us!

Today, at work I put myself squarely in the lame / old people category when I foolishly asked out loud what FML meant. FML

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

Coworker from hell

Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML

Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML

Nosy

Today, my boss was standing behind me, looking at my phone. Why was I writing smut? Did he see? How much did he see? Is he a fan? Why was he even there? I hate it here. FML

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

Cool your boots, Janet

Today, HR wants to see me about an email where my boss asks me to respect her body. My offense? I asked if she bought a new shirt during a web meeting with our small team. We've worked together for over 10 years. FML

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML