Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I'm in pretty good physical shape. No, wait, that was two years ago. Now I need to take a break after brushing each quadrant of my teeth because my arm gets tired. FML
Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Today, I tried to comb my hair after waking up. I not only broke the comb but also pulled a muscle in my arm. I do not go to bed with wet hair. FML
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Top comments
random2212 16
That takes talent
acorn2222 8
At least you didn't pull a muscle in your neck while trying to give yourself a *******.
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Comments (81)
PricelessUM 6
Nah at least you didn't sprain your neck picking up a shirt off the floor. Nor sprained your butt getting up from the couch. Yup. It happens. But you did hurt your neck brushing your teeth. :P
I_Am_The_Cold 19
I'm assuming you don't get a lot of protein and calcium.