Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
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Comments (209)
jellydoughnut41 7
Stick it in her rear she wont be laughing then
pittyfinny 4
You mean she didn't see it before at all? Weird
Zomg_Okay 27
What part of "waiting for marriage" are you struggling to comprehend?
AzzieC 12
You know they can at least get changed in front of each other and not touch the other one right... Duh
charvisioku 22
46, to be honest I've always assumed that even couples who decide to be celibate outside of wedlock will see each other naked at some point if they're serious enough to end up married. Especially if they live together. They could be getting changed in front of each other (as has already been mentioned), or 'fooling around' without actual sex being involved, or even just sleeping naked but not having sex. Can't beat naked cuddles. There's nothing in "no sex before marriage" that says you're not allowed to at least see what each others' naked bodies look like. Although sex and looks are far from being everything, I'd still want to feel comfortable enough around my partner to be able to get naked in front of them and not feel self conscious about it... and if seeing each other naked is 'too tempting', then maybe they should revise their convictions on the subject.
nahbean13 3
I'm waiting until marriage, and I wouldn't want to see my partner naked until the wedding night either. It's not that it's too tempting or anything, it's just that same principle of respecting each other's bodies as sacred and private until the two of you are a unit, the same flesh, in marriage. Not fear or temptation- respect.
OlgaCornmuffin 7
While I see & respect your opinion, just because I saw my husband naked before marriage, it in no way meant I respected him any less. He is my world & soulmate & I respect & love him beyond words. I do not intend to sound condescending or argumentative, I am simply stating that I believe it does not diminish respect, but instead forms a whole new level of a bond. I knew my husband was the one when I felt comfortable enough to walk around the house naked around him. I had never been that way before & I had previously been engaged. :)
zandalee 20
Words fail me here OP. This is so damn sad. If it was just nerves that caused her to laugh, then that's understandable. After all that's a lot of pressure the first time. If not, she sounds cruel and no one should be with someone who mocks them. Marriage is supposed to be wonderfully happy!!
pogue36 5
Hey I'm small too but I know how to pleasure a women better then a man twice my size.
EpicSquishii 21
And you would know that how? Just because girls say things like that to make guys feel better doesn't mean you should take it to heart. I've been with a smaller guy and a large guy and while I can say the smaller one made up for the lack of "mass" with movement and foreplay, the large guy won on all fronts. Assuming that because a guy is big means he can't do everything you can do is lying to yourself. Sure there are people of all sizes who don't know what they're doing. But..... that can be fixed with practice and guidance. You can't "practice" your dick bigger.
Ultimawolf25 19
And not every girl has to fake or pretend to like it either. Not all girls need a big dick to have a healthy and active sex life.
EpicSquishii 21
I did say that my smaller boyfriend made up for his lack of girth with foreplay and how he moved. We were together for two years with a healthy sex life. I'm not saying you can't please a girl with a small dick, I'm just stating the simple fact that a guy with a bigger dick can do everything a guy with a small dick can do, and it's apt to feel better when they do it right. No one "needs" a boyfriend with a bigger dick. It's just a bonus. But smaller guys should stop kidding themselves with the notion that larger guys don't know how to use their peckers as well as they do. It's not true. Girls will say that 9 times out of 10 when their boyfriends are undersized because there is honestly little else to say to save a mans pride
byron17 26
You sound like Tyrion Lannister
happylawyer 16
Boys with larger penises tend to think it is enough while guys with smaller ones know it is not and they are right. The vaginas is more sensitive at the begining and not deep inside. If the later were right, tampons were a lot more popular. You have never heard of a woman enjoying using one. If a girl can have an ****** with only a finger, you then know size is not that important. It is more important in a phsycological way than physical. A woman that knows her body can lead any willing man to please her.
bugeja1na 7
Im not trying to be up myself or anything but im 15 and have an easy 20+cm'er, my girl loves it, she loved riding it and always wants it, bigger can do as much as smaller
PenguinBitch 44
If it's small enough to place it in her ear, do it! I bet she won't hear that coming.
deathtothepix 26
Tell her its not as small as she thinks it is, her ****** just makes everything look small cause its so big.
zandalee 20
..and every time she farts, ask her if that was a fanny fart.
Obey_StudBoii 23
It's not about size, it's how you use it.
byron17 26
@42 You sound like Tyrion Lannister
Fsvb 32
I'm sorry, but I've gotta click YDI. Not because I disagree with not having sex until you marry, I think that's a nice thing, but I just think it is not a very smart thing, because then you can end up with situations like this. If you guys don't fit sexually, you are going to have a bad time. Sex is a big part of a relationship, so I think you should experience that first.
luknuts 3
Damn, 34 years....