Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML
Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
No! Anything but the organs! How will we play church music :o
j_cat187 20
*Pulls out chainsaw. We all know your intentions.
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Comments (62)
j_cat187 20
*Pulls out chainsaw. We all know your intentions.
RaggleFrock 13
Why don't you just say you're taking their obs? Saying taking their vital signs a bit final. But I guess it's better than saying taking your vital organs to a frightened patient.
patrickalamo 48
Or better that orgasim
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Orgasim - what occurs when your simcard is first entered into your phone?
SApprentice 34
22- I got an immature chuckle out of that.
christyxbee 15
That poor, poor girl.
StoryOfTheYear 15
No! Anything but the organs! How will we play church music :o
shayshayshazam 14
Just pray for more and wait.
mfischer 17
...and wait...and wait...
capslockisgood 19
14 - Theists be hatin'
geko911 22
I don't know if god does anything but I sure as hell know he won't send you an organ via express mail!
iOceanus 18
33 - God*, and no one would send an organ via express mail.
Darkmagic666 9
14, I don't see why you were disliked. I laughed. And now I get disliked by hateful people.
mfischer 17
Meh. It's true. If all you do is pray and then wait, you're gonna be waiting a very long time. I wasn't trying to bring up any personal views on God.
CrewBoy 10
34, that's what he wrote, "god" it's the same thing as "God". Chill out.
aksweetheart 7
52- Nah... It's really different. I know it doesn't look like it, but it is. It's because it's kind of saying there's only one God to us Christians, and having it lower cased implies that He isn't the only God... If that made any kind of sense... I apologize if I totally just confused and/ or offended anyone- I'm only human!
iOceanus 18
52 - Actually, you're mistaken. The term "god" is exactly that, a "god." "God," on the other hand, is a proper noun used for one specific god.
SusanBieber 10
I wonder how that went down...
Nekogami 14
About as good as Justin Bieber's music. And I'm referring to quality, not marketability.
bimonthly 4
oh gawd...I'm sure a bead of sweat poured out of every pore on the woman.
Urraco 1
I hope you then let out a particularly evil laugh.
crazytwinsmom 25
Hopefully, that lightened the mood a little. Levity can be a good thing in a stressful situation. So long as you didn't joke about her weight.
laden_swallow09 35
The patient was already panicking. I would imagine that any more stress, intentional or otherwise, would cause physical harm.
IscoreOnU 19
Haha I'm currently taking my EMT class in school (yes in high school, yes I'll be on an ambulance soon) and this just reminds me of the many flops my instructor has told us. Just look up and start fresh tomorrow. You'll look back on it and laugh.
benmec 18
What great insight you provide, yes good insight. Best of luck to you, yes the best of luck...
raraisbang 12
16, I don't know what was more idiotic, your post or your profile information. I guess it's a toss up.
SenselessPattern 12
I'd like to place a movement for the profile being worse. Anyone care to second the motion?
amberbelle 14
I second the motion.
benmec 18
Haha! You read my profile? Idiots!
blackjackandcoke 9
I would have laughed my ass off at that, don't feel bad OP! It was funny!
laden_swallow09 35
The only reason you would laugh is because you're not already panicking. I laughed at the FML, but I'm not afraid for my life.
Mattsta123 5
Don't worry. As a lifeguard I've told someone I had to rescue from drowning I can't swim
Pleonasm 36
It takes balls, to say that.
lolfood 24
Can you say, awkward comma placement?