Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Top comments
UGADAWG34 0
she's a **** if she leaves you for that...
SillyAsh 0
I'm sure if she really wanted to be your girl, she wouldn't dump you for farting. I fart after sex and in the mornings with my boyf. It's not a big deal.
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Comments (116)
Sneaky95 9
Anyone else notice this sounds like a 14 year old is speaking? Lol
The_9th_Doctor 18
did she laugh or join in? if so, you're safe.
darkfireflame 15
My thoughts exactly.
DarksideDoll 31
If a little gas is all it takes for her to break up with you, you're better off!
xathenax 6
Honestly why do people care so much about farting? And why is a bodily uncontrollable function considered impolite to society? It's not impolite to sneeze or cough or even burp if you say excuse me and it's not extremely loud and obnoxious? What's the big deal? Everyone does it there's no one that lived that hasn't . My favorite phrase is " if you can't fart in your own house what kind of world is this?!" My bf I live with thinks it's silly but now we just both do it and don't say anything about it and go about our day
jazzmin1997 16
Why is everybody always weeping about farting? To me it's not exactly the thing to break up over. In your case there may be some other problems.
JenniferNThomas 14
If she leaves your for something as small as that, then she's not worth it.
TLNEW 8
She's a bitch if she leaves you for that. It can happen to anyone! And it's kind of funny too.
fantasyworld 39
Why do people make a big deal over farting or burping? They are normal bodily functions.
thes7274473 19
"Tummy ache"? What are you, five?