Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Top comments
UGADAWG34 0
she's a **** if she leaves you for that...
SillyAsh 0
I'm sure if she really wanted to be your girl, she wouldn't dump you for farting. I fart after sex and in the mornings with my boyf. It's not a big deal.
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Comments (116)
tpelts 1
Does it freak anyone else out that these guys are probably married by now?
darrellyswagg 2
If she leaves you it's probably because suck in bed not the fart
Cbyrd1220 1
If she leaves you over something that stupid then shes really not worth it I personally was making love to my gf once and accidently let one rip at first it was embarrased but she just laughed for a moment and didnt let it ruin the moment it truly strengthened our relationship it showed she loved me for me and thats what everyone deserves I LOVE MY GF
Haha_no_123 11
Don't worry, if she's not a shallow idiot and truly loves you she'll know that she farts too. If she does break up with you for that reason, you'll find a girl who will understand when your tummy is upset
luvonsarah 8
She had sex with you... but she might break up with you over passing gas? Wow, you really know how to pick 'em, eh?
Monty3038 8
If you still say 'Tummy' you don't deserve sex.
Ajwc101 24
Thats odd
goldjinzo 2
At least u had.sex. that should help ur new lonelyness
clairelolz 5
Don't know if I would if you said tummy ache. Sorry OP.
Proughboy 7
Haha you're old enough to be having sex, but you still say "My tummy hurt."