Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
redmane 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
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Comments (136)
theladysman 1
why ? get yourself some condom and get yourself a escort (*****) you are going to pay for it anyway so this way no strings attached
oreocookies2012 1
Pfft! trying being involuntary celibate from when your 18 years old to when you are the age you are now. that me! so I feel your pain much stronger op!!!!!!!
alyg123 1
....if this my roommate posting this, that sucks. On the bright side, could have been louder I guess! :)
TonyRuckus 5
u should have asked to join in lol
pregnantpianist 2
I'm ordering you to order a hooker. But make sure she's new. Don't wanna get the herps.
BostonBear 33
awesome way to word this op!
LenZClan 4
Dude get a girlfriend....
stevenbro 6
I'm married and it's been like 3 years. No end in sight.