Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
redmane 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
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Comments (136)
bryan788 29
sounds like you need to join in
terrancemu 0
Well, that's better than my 20 years of involuntary celebacy...
captainburke 5
You must ********** a lot
pinksnowflake 2
Why does it seem like almost every day there is an FML that involves people having noisy sex when others are in the house? Does no one have any respect for others anymore?
monocyte 4
I know, right? Making noises is controllable. Louder doesn't mean better sex..
SlayerElite 1
some men get off on the moaning, *cough* not that i would know....
elvisaaron 3
Jus walk in and start watching .. Two things could happen.. They could stop or let you join in . Problem solved problem staying solved .
klx125cross 9
Wait.... Both ur roommates? Having sex? With each other? Or separate.... I'm confused
rozsrredd 16
With each other? Awkward.
brutuka 2
i once went 27 yeats without sex,
CadillacPimpen 6
I didn't know a yeat was a measurement in time...
mosquito19 14
are your roomates having sex with each other or they are both banging somebody at the same time? it's a little confusing
Elendil_fml 10
Sorry to hear that. I did 31 months involuntarily when I was 20. (Through 23) it sucks.