Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
redmane 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
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Comments (136)
sacmaster 11
At least u've got ur everfaithful and ever-loving jill ;)
brandoneyez1 25
You need Craig's list, or Ashley Madison or better yet get in some chat rooms... People always lookin to get laid.
smashey123 5
Try 48 months till then I don't wanna hear it
fengminfeifei 4
you can join in
AdamNasty 0
Let me join!
kalbrek009 20
I topped that years ago with 3 years of involuntary celibacy, don't feel too bad op.
kalbrek009 20
Oh, & for people who call others losers for it, sometimes there isn't anyone worth having sex with...like the people who say you're a loser..cause losers like them will only get to sleep with other losers like themselves & no sex is better than sex with them
robbiesmama065 2
I know how you feel op!!! I'm on month 23 of involuntary celibacy! It's not fun!!!
CarouselHeart 11
I've been involuntarily celibate for like four years, so I feel your pain.
morepreetza 2
I'd feel bad for you if I hadn't just hit 8 years