Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
Today, at my anniversary party, and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
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Top comments
CheekyRaccoon 27
Your parents never told you this, you can predict the future. It's not like a fortune teller that looks in to a crystal ball, but more like what you say has a 99.91% chance of happening. Please use your new found powers wisely.
worldclassrager 41
She didn't ask for an explanation? Needless to say a slip of the tongue didn't help...
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Comments (35)
ihatedouchbags 17
You're unconscious has spoken! Maybe when time has passed you will look back and understand why that happened.
icemand90 17
Freud strikes again
SneanBalit3 3
Sounds like you didn't want to be in a relationship with her. It will all work out.
LyricaSilvan 30
Not sure how you could manage to "accidentally" say that. Then again, I don't know the whole story. Maybe you were thinking about what it would be like if you guys broke up. Either way, you know the answer now.
urbanbigfoot 20
I am not saying it is your fault. Sometimes shit just happens. Even if it was something as strange as that.