Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML
Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
Today, I'm a full-time Investment Portfolio Analyst at one of the largest groups. It has been my dream job and I worked my ass off. I'm one of the best analysts there and people like me. Also, I haven't slept properly for 3 months, without a single day off. I'm about to get mentally sick. FML
Today, during a job interview on Zoom, I tried to sound passionate and said, “I eat marketing for breakfast.” The interviewer then asked what I have for lunch. I panicked and said, “Analytics… and sometimes interns.” I haven’t heard back yet. FML
Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML
Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Subtext 10
Trust me, you're not the only one.
Ashamed_Sister 60
I suggest you grow up before starting your career.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
Ki11erC 18
Just don't become an assassin and notice it says ass twice ;)
annie_nk 23
So how would you react if you were an ASSistant ANALyst?
ShadowStrange 1
Any excuse to laugh in todays world is a worthwhile one.
kwesh34 0
Op you must like 'anal' hehehe.
katties 27
I would rather guess she either has never had it or very rarely. Else she probably would be used to the word.
CrazyManNo9 29
Probably not had it. Somebody should volunteer ASSistance.
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Any joke can become boring once told 100 times. Eventually this could happen and you'll be in the clear OP. At least untill it becomes funny again.
alfred07 18
As long as you act professionally there's nothing wrong with finding some humour in what you do.
lylotrezor 20
How about sitting down and saying "ANALysis" with the right tone a few hundred times? I swear even the funniest joke gets old after enough repeats.
jw90 18
Did you giggle when you were typing this?
ruckfules85 34
" and studying to be a conflict analyst"...giggle
buckdharma 38
Watch the movie "analyze This," as therapy. Billy Crystal might be able to help you.