Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
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Top comments
boomlol 0
he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"
Rhodacious1 0
EW...
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Comments (183)
crash52181 0
And you were stupid enough to do it?! ****** idiot....YDI
Captain_Jello 0
YDI for being a pussy
tazz9690 0
I would have told him to **** off.
f_me247 0
i was just wondering, how did it taste ???????????? did it taste like chicken? was it wet? was dry? was is chunky? how long could you taste it in your mouth before it melted away ???????????????????? BTW, YDI for skipping breakfeast :D
DJ_Chutfield 4
There are no words to describe how much you deserve it. Just go to your technical area or whatever it's called in lacrosse and get another one! ******' hell.
kukopia 0
I didn't know refs carry handguns now. That's the ONLY way anyone would 'make' me put that in my mouth.
breathemein 10
LOL i think you go to my school =p they had a field hockey games yesterday... and u live in MA, so do I
deathburger13 0
then i might go to your school or the OPs school, cuz we had a field hockey game yesterday and i live in MA :P
breathemein 10
haha probably you go to my skl or the op's =p thats cool ;)
british_polish 0
a few issues. 1: why are geese pooing on your pitch? it rots through the turf, and if you are playing at a decent level, the pitch should be swept. 2: The umpire has NO right to tell you to replace your gumguard. it is NOT a compulsory item of equipment under the FIH rules (as amended jan. 2009) and you are completely within your rights as a player to politely tell the ump to go away, and that you will take the gumguard off the pitch and return without it. this fml seems rather spurious IMO.
dudette14 0
Actually mouthguards ARE required. You can't play without one.
beethoven_fml 0
good
NeoJoe 0
Hey this isn't an FML! The bird poo probably helped the mouthguard stay in his mouth better.