Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML
How can I make this about me?
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Make it a double feature
Today, my husband declared that since our youngest son happened to be born on our anniversary, we no longer needed to celebrate. He reasoned that it would be “wrong” to make his special day about us. Truth is he’s just a cheap unromantic sod. FML
Family man
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML
Fast food dinner
Today, I called my husband and asked him what he wanted from our favorite fast food place. A divorce. FML
Skint
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
Romance is dead
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Unromantic, but wanting to make ends meet shows he at least cares about your well being. Guy probably has a lot on his mind and you two should have a talk about making changes to both your lifestyles so he can be at ease.
Tgump 0
Sign of the times.
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Comments (86)
Tgump 0
Sign of the times.
egaonogenki 0
The HUSBAND or the YOUNG SON? The young son could be quite precocious, you know!
LilaBear 2
This is why I love Australia... the tax gets taken out of your pay before it even gets into your account. You don't have to 'save' anything to pay for tax.
EMR_fml 0
In the US the taxes normally get taken out before it gets deposited in your account, too. (Unless you're self-employed) But before or after deposit, who cares. Doesn't really matter when the taxes get taken. The money is still gone. If you can't afford eating out and paying taxes, you need to stop eating at restaurants. Eat out your wife instead I'm sure she'll forget about fancy diners.
EMR_fml 0
I get his point that it's done gradually through out the year. But I don't see the difference between being taxed $100 a week and being taxed $5200 a year. It's the same amount of money. Either way you need to adjust your budget for the money being gone.
JorgeM 0
Our taxes are withheld as well. If this family is really that poor, they're not actually paying taxes and will get back everything they paid in, plus an additional credit. So who knows what the husband is talking about. I guess he could be self employed, but he sounds too dumb for that. Of course, American taxes are super high when you take into consideration that we have to pay for all of our health care through private insurance or out of pocket and pay for all of our higher level education. All our taxes go for are greedy bankers and wars. The Democrats might even add the for-profit insurance companies to the Government welfare tit instead of doing something reasonable - like single payer.
_Noon_ 0
Wow, your husband is quite a romantic guy.
Sodam_INsane 0
at least he cares about his family enough to not let them go under ;)
StingMunFizzy 0
You should have said " And I'm excited about how we're getting you that dick enlargement surgery I saw on T.V!"
Skyblu10 10
Yes! That's the greatest thing to say in front of their young son. Idiot.
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh boo hoo. You don't get to eat out all fancy anymore. Stay at home in a more intimate family setting. Get creative with your romance. Romance doesn't automatically equate to "romantic" dinners and all that shizzle-izzle
riplikethat 0
She didn't post this FML cause she won't be going out on more dinners anymore, retard.
Slaught_fml 3
Yeah me and my wife are in this rut right now also. Maybe help him find a better job? Sounds like he is worried about going broke. EDIT: I feel the need to point out how stupid allmidnighteyes' post is. Teenagers shouldn't comment about marriage.
allmidnighteyes 11
It doesn't take being married to know that romance in any relationship isn't all about fancy dinners and stuff like that.
bigcrazymike 6
Marriage has less beauty but more safety than the single life. It’s full of sorrows and full of joys. It lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love, and those burdens are delightful.
dspadres 0
^ on crack.
Puolukka 4
But it takes being married to know that what most teenagers think about marriage is not all that accurate ;) You're right though, of course it's not about fancy dinners and romance ALL the time...but it sure is nice and considering that an anniversary only takes place once a year I don't think it's too much to ask for...and family-style restaurant doesn't sound like 'fancy dinner' to me anyway...
bigcrazymike 6
You're married with a kid... GET OVER IT!!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ah well, everyone makes sacrifices. What, is there something unromantic about an overcooked meatloaf dinner by candlelight? Were you hoping to have a slobbery make-out session in front of your son?
allmidnighteyes 11
Nah, WITH her son. ;D
Witchcraft_fml 5
Threesome with the father?
allmidnighteyes 11
Nahh, this one's from California, not Aww-kin-saw.
Witchcraft_fml 5
That's true. I doubt OP could handle living in the hills wid all dem purty hicks and dems inbreds.
allmidnighteyes 11
I wonder when the kid and mom will procreate (because husband-wife relations are obviously outlawed in dem back hills o' da souf) in the back o' dat '67 El Camino.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Probably as soon as her son figures out exactly what a ****** is. Although the husband is probably a ****-hungry douchebag, and started playing porno tapes to the son from birth instead of the usual Disney. Hopefully OP's future son-slash-grandson won't look TOO demented. Though if he doesn't, he might be eaten by the local hill-dwellers.
allmidnighteyes 11
Or be cast out amongst them, like the other failkids from before... 'S one big family out there in them hills.
Witchcraft_fml 5
And it just keeps getting bigger, wiv all dem sibling-******* pouncing on whoever they can grab first. Luckily, they balance it out by killing the ones who try to move in on their roadkill dinners.
allmidnighteyes 11
"ACE you ain't eatin' mah raccoon tonite!" "ah wills if ah wantsta Daisy" -cocks shotgun- "awh ****, ah ain' endin' up lyk Roy"
Witchcraft_fml 5
I assume that was also their bedroom dialog for getting each other in the mood.
allmidnighteyes 11
Obviously. When's the last time you met a redneck with an expandable vocabulary?
Witchcraft_fml 5
That's true. Their raw spoiled dinners, used tobacco, and hunting rifles all seem to give them orgasms anyway, I don't think it takes any dialog at all.
allmidnighteyes 11
The spittle from the chewin' tobaccy probably acts as lube xD
Witchcraft_fml 5
Lube, bath water, drinkin' water...
allmidnighteyes 11
Recycle, reduce, reuse, and close the (family) loop!
Witchcraft_fml 5
They certainly do. Roadkill's fer the eatin's, makin' the clothes, and pickin' the teeth. They tear those suckers up. They reuse each other, makin' as many babies wiv each other as they can.
allmidnighteyes 11
Well, durr. If they're lucky, maybe they can make it to NASCAR one day too, an' see dem cars go 'round da track in a circle fer 4 hours.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Most of them were probably born under the seats at the track.
allmidnighteyes 11
They're shootin' em out like t-shirt cannons.
Witchcraft_fml 5
They were probably conceived there too, in an all-consuming redneck orgy. Luckily fer th' hicks, thems t-shirt cannons were created. It's the only place they get their clothes.
AJthegreenkiwi 0
frightening.
allmidnighteyes 11
I don't even know why they're called t-shirt cannons if they shoot overalls and flannel button-ups.
Witchcraft_fml 5
XD Because rednecks have a very limited vocabulary.
allmidnighteyes 11
bahaha, and the cycle repeats itself from there. :D
Witchcraft_fml 5
It definitely does XD But I think we've probably made the OP ****** ten times already anyway.
allmidnighteyes 11
xD Yeah, probably. No more hickgasms tonight.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Agreed :P Sorry, OP, but we've been generous enough as it is.
tick_tock 0
I feel partially retarded for reading that entire conversation. That being said, you both are ignorant assholes.
summer99 0
i've never seen so many comments get buried in one conversation. lol.
mushrooms_fml 0
Oh, please, tick_tock. My grandparents live in Arkansas, and I'm not offended. I found it funny. Pull that stick out of your ass.
AJthegreenkiwi 0
You should have dined and dashed. Excitement & you saved for your taxes!
Nakedsquirrel 5
Unromantic, but wanting to make ends meet shows he at least cares about your well being. Guy probably has a lot on his mind and you two should have a talk about making changes to both your lifestyles so he can be at ease.
Mr_Eated 0
Bravo - nicely said. My ex wife, Respondent, used to want expensive dinners out and expected expensive gifts for any occassion. If I ever mentioned we couldn't afford something, she'd get angry and say I had a bad attitude or would insinuate that if I didn't spend money (that we didn't have) then I didn't really love her the way she deserved. OP could just be bummed that her husband couldn't enjoy the moment - or she could be a pathological head case like my ex......I'm guessing somewhere in the middle.