Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
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Top comments
boomlol 0
he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"
Rhodacious1 0
EW...
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Comments (183)
plexico 4
What's the problem? It probably tastes like pâté de fois gras. People pay a lot of money for that shit. You're mad that you got some fresh stuff for free?
Lonely_Lez 0
Ok. It's really annoying me that multiple people are under the impression that OP is male. Now I know people get all defensive and go "But I use my IPHONE and there's no gender listed!!!!!" However, if one were to think logically, they would realize that it's FIELD HOCKEY. Which is a sport played by girls in kilts. Girls. In. KILTS. Anyone who thought OP was anything but a girl in a kilt is just ignorant.
paks7 0
ACTUALLY in many parts of the world it is a men's and women's sport. I realize this is in Massachusetts so in all likelihood yes, it is a girl, but there are guys that play here in the US. I played against a few in high school. so really, you're ignorant.
srak 0
this is bullsh*t.
dudette14 0
To comment #95, you're actually the one that is being very ignorant. If you knew anything at all about field hockey, you would know that the USA is basically the only country where it isn't common for men to play it. For example, my male hockey coach grew up playing field hockey, and my chemistry teacher in high school played it for many years, HE was from Pakistan. Heath Ledger also played field hockey when he was growing up in Australia. Those are just a few examples. So I suggest you get your facts straight and don't try to act like you know so much about something when you really have no clue. It makes you sound ignorant.
izsy9667 0
orbitz
kelsie22 0
i would have told him to stick it in his mouth.
JCK621 0
at least geese poop (or other bird poop) should be a lot cleaner than, say, dog poop... feel bad for you, OP
Alaskaman 0
Wouldn't it have been goose poop, not geese poop? Or did you witness some community bird-defecation that created this pile...?
margie4peace 11
Here's what happened... OP got crap on mouthguard. Ref saw that it wasn't in amd yelled at the kid to put it in. Kid said nothing about the poop (too shy or passive) and followed directions. Then he comes whining on FML about that mean ref. YDI for not sticking upvfor yourself!
yoshieggs2 0
Haha, I think this is the only FML that actually made me laugh out loud (I've read over 95% of the ones on this site).