Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
here's your chhhhhaanggge *spits everywhere*
ChrisWaines 9
Oh, no bueno! Maybe you can pass it off as recent dental work?
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Comments (54)
herrnyberg 7
Bummer
xlord 27
That's literally the reason why It's an FML.
herrnyberg 7
Clever
Ian7890 23
May I suggest a sick leave?
ChrisWaines 9
Oh, no bueno! Maybe you can pass it off as recent dental work?
jarrettd 27
You shouldn't be handing people money if you are sick.
DoubleR_Anna 4
They don't care if you're sick, they'll still have you come in.
isallwaysme 27
here's your chhhhhaanggge *spits everywhere*
license2chill 5
"Keep the change, bastard", *punch cashier in the face*
isallwaysme 27
cashier knows MMA *Hits you back*
NeatNit 33
That sounds serious! I hope you go to the hospital or something on case it's worse than you think. BTW posting on FML should not be your first reaction :P
Enslaved 38
Hospital seems extreme. Even to go to the doctor seems like a waste. Colds usually just need to run its course. Plenty of rest and fluids to keep you hydrated should work best. (: And also posting an FML probably isn't the OP's first reaction but even if it were, what's the big deal? It takes 2 minutes to submit.
obnum 19
Lol the image I'm getting in my head is so gross. Especially when you sneeze; snot and saliva everywhere...
groovycrazyjoe 18
making me laugh so hard picturing OP mouth like Peter on family guy
OscarDV 8
If you have a cold, I don't think you should be going into work. Especially as a cashier, already touching dirty money, sort of makes it worse with a sickness.
Enslaved 38
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness Open up your hate, and let it flow into me".
EvilUndead 9
Well, you should, but only if you want to infect every single customer and employee. (sarcasm)I'm sure your employer will appreciate that, especially if you have strong cold that can put half of the staff on sick leave.
theworldismad 10
would dat be cwedit or debit or cath?
milanpatel 10
hiiii
milanpatel 10
ohh
UberNova 18
You aren't meant to bite when you sneeze....so how the hell did you do this?
theworldismad 10
I've done it before, I'm not really sure how, but I've bitten my tongue when I've sneezed. It happens
ravenxcorvinus 9
OP was sneezing something fierce.
Enslaved 38
Now you can use that drool to separate those fresh crisp dollar bills that like to stick together.:P