Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
PharmacyJoe 13
Have you explained to her that testicles and tubes of toothpaste do not, in fact, work in the same manner?
z_candy 18
Sorry op, it looks like you literally busted a nut.
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Comments (123)
KayDee29 31
I mean, at least her intentions might have been for your benefit. Still, FYL.
Randomish6 16
I hope the damage can be repaired, get well soon!
worldclassrager 41
Doesn't that actually reduce the ******? Or stop it all together?
trellz17 19
Is it wrong that I laughed so hard at this?
Tsukiyomi 16
Sucks to be you
Blackbiker_fml 7
Well, as a matter of fact I've heard about masochists who enjoy being ball busted but it must be 1 out of 1000 guys. Your gf was undoubtedly very clumsy in doing what she did, and / or very inexperienced, which is somehow worthy of forgiveness, provided she didn't permanently damage you. Women should know that one strong hit on the nut is sometimes enough to necrotise a ********. FYL.
KrDizzy 16
Girlfriend must be reading too many Cosmo magazines.
Omniprism 15
This sounds amazingly horrible. You need to explain a few things to her.
tlnorman 18
Aww that sucks OP, no pun intended. She likely didn't know that, that would happen. Her heart was in the right place, she just perhaps needs you to explain to her next time that it doesn't work that way, though she'll likely have an idea now.
tlnorman 18
So can giving birth and the likelihood of both occurring nowadays is very rare. This isn't a pissing contest of how much pain a man or woman can withstand, even though women do have a higher threshold, hence why we're the ones giving birth. I should also mention that while the testicles are by far the most sensitive area on a mans body, the pain associated with being kicked/squeezed, while is no doubt severe, and likely a 10 on a pain scale, it in no way compares to pushing a large football out a hole the size of a Canadian loonie, and that includes the tearing as well. Again not a pissing contest and I'm not trying to be a bitch to you, you seem like a good person, I'm just give some perspective. Men are in many ways very fortunate to just have testicular heightened sensitivity, count your blessings you don't have to deal with child birth, menstrual cycles, and menopause. Having a uterus really sucks.