Infiltrator4444
Lexington, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
Top comments
plaguer 26
If it's small, remind him who you got it from.
ScarNuts 8
Come on, we've all done it once.... Right?
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Comments (139)
plaguer 26
If it's small, remind him who you got it from.
ipwnallmen 10
Curiousity killed the cat, OP... either that or it was framed by stupidity. I kid, I kid. Hopefully, you'll be able to laugh at this later.
Screwie 25
At least you were measuring your penis, and not how deep your asshole is. Now THAT'S got to be weird.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
35 that thought never crossed my mind ... Trying to tell us something?
Goldenchest 14
35 - How exactly do you measure how deep it is with a ruler..? o.0
Khariau 8
It must hurt, unless its thin and rounded.
hahasooo 2
#1 love your picture!:)
plaguer 26
Why thank you, 86.
sporty1200xlr 6
Remember to use the Adam Corrola method from the old Man Show, you measure from tip all the way to the asshole.
Jeffers123 5
How does that idea even cross your mind???
coughyochick 7
Push it in
DKjazz 20
79- You do it with a graduated cylinder, not a ruler.
onealmxwilson 18
I don't get how OP's dad knew how long he was unless he somehow marked the ruler while he was in the shower
outoftown 27
Gotta lol here... Dad probably did the same thing when young.
deBlobX 12
92- Your welcome 99
mrrry 0
Why, planning on measuring the depth of your asshole?
CairoScorpio 0
Lmaoo
legitkitty 11
I bet your dad's is tiny
ohrlly7457 7
Nope i can vouch
auzz1_pride 9
It's usually the first person that says just what 2 did is the one with the small penis.
legitkitty 11
I'm a female .-.
pjsr 33
That really is small, then
Llamacod 11
so then you could say that your penis is practically nonexistent
ScarNuts 8
Come on, we've all done it once.... Right?
PrimroseKitten 3
I would if I had one.
ScarNuts 8
Sex change!? Just kidding that's gross..
seymourw 1
ScarNuts, you're gross.
flockz 20
i did it with a meterstick.... made me feel very insignificant.
iRoc46n2 4
What about more than once? Hoping it grew somehow
Mister_Triangle 21
I never did; plausible deniability.
Mister_Triangle 21
I never did; plausible deniability.
mrnuleef 7
I like to compare it to objects, like a beer bottle,
JoeRogansBEARD 15
I check every morning just to remind myself that I will never get laid (Forever alone)
mrnuleef 7
** sorry incomplete reply ** Remote controls, things like that
Enslaved 38
I know what you all did afterwards.:P No point in measuring your **** in flaccid stage. Billy Squire approves of you singing "The Stroke"
biglittlehead 12
52- you sound like peewee from Porkys.
Shadowvoid 33
Actually, i have never measured myself, nor do i desire to. I was given what i got and i can't and won't change it. It does what i want it to do lol
mykalt18 2
One day, I came home and saw a piece of paper with line markings laying on our table. When I asked what it was for, I was told by my boyfriend that he used it to measure his penis and saved it to show me. He also has measured the circumference, he says he can burst open a toilet paper roll....
KiddNYC1O 22
Guilty.
deBlobX 12
I actually really need to get around to measuring mine
needsagf14 12
Yeah but most of us remember to put the ruler back
99megster 15
I dont think he should be laughing. If youve got a small dick, you must have inherited it from someone...
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
He's not laughing at the size of OP's penis. He's laughing at the fact the his son brought a ruler into the shower to measure his manhood.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Considering the fact that his name is infiltrator I doubt he's very small
Drigr 9
57, the day you find a man willing to admit he has a small penis, let us know. I don't think I have ever met a guy who doesn't pretend he has a 9 inch dong.
cutemonsterx3 6
I knew a guy that admitted he had a small one. Thats rare O_o
cantthinkofshit 5
And he didn't get any pootang either huh? Negative reinforcement !!
s0m3guy2010 21
Blame it on a cold shower. There's shrinkage!
jkmartinjk 16
Like a frightened turtle!
Luxord33 8
#6 that comment went along with your picture! LOL
PegaDolphin 7
He must think that you think you're small. Hahahaha
jazzyfizzle9146 1
P
YourBuddyElmo 5
Next time leave a tape measure in there, and just give a confident chuckle if he mentions it!
Khariau 8
He should offer a few viagra pills to his dad...
Llamacod 11
what the hell does viagra pills have to do with this fml?
theannak 7
Just smile and play it cool. Hes probably done it to
Big_lama6 7
3 - Yes we have lol
auzz1_pride 9
You know there is a reply button right?
Myo_fml 20
If you have long hair, take evasive maneuvers and say you were measuring that.
nachiketin 11
Why would one measure hair length, in shower? And comeon dad will know what son is upto, we all have done it :P
Octain 13
Oh idk...Maybe because it's wet... And straight. Just sayin'