Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
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Top comments
kellanlvr 1
you stick it in the hole, move it around a bit, then take it out..easy :D
FYLDeep 26
Step 1: Grab the pencil. Step 2: Sharpen the ******* pencil.
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Comments (79)
Zebidee 9
Having worked with a lot of engineers, they do kind of have a tendency to try and spend the next six months inventing pencil-sharpening robots in situations like this, so giving them clear and concise specifications on how he'd want the pencils sharpened actually makes sense to me. Plus, it's fun to screw with their heads.
DakotaCat 4
It's cuz all the other morons stick their penises in there and he didn't want it happening again
LemonStarship 5
Did you explain to him in detail how to shut the f up?
k9obsessed 5
Let me guess: Your boss is an uptight, know-it-all asshole who thinks he's god's greatest and most capable being, therefore he has the right to treat his employees like they're infantile retards who can't perform the simplest tasks? The world's full of bastards. FYL, OP. Hope you move up in the workplace so you can shove that pencil sharpener right up your ******** boss's ass.
Jadwee96 8
not sure why but I find this quite funny :)
l0lkitteh 0
Maybe your boss has OCD?
ckjacques53198 0
maybe because he doesn't believe you any common sense. Maybe he wants to level you. Most engineers are know it all douches
DRock525 0
agreed, that or some auto mechanic who wants to feel special, he also does a little car electronics so, he's an engineer, lol
u_r_idiot 1
electronics and mechanics engineer does not exist
Zebidee 9
I'll tell that to the next Mechatronics engineer I see.
uh_durrr 0
He's a manager...a pointy-haired boss, if Dilbert is at all still relevant. Bosses like that have to explain simple tasks to see if they can still remember them.