Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
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Top comments
kellanlvr 1
you stick it in the hole, move it around a bit, then take it out..easy :D
FYLDeep 26
Step 1: Grab the pencil. Step 2: Sharpen the ******* pencil.
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Comments (79)
corona25 0
**** that shit. I would have asked him to stick one up his ass!
bigbadtim 7
Do they even have Best Buy in the UK?
bigbadtim 7
Reply for 32.
CloudEnvy 17
There are one or two.
bigbadtim 7
Your boss lead you on how to sharpen a pencil?
RedPillSucks 33
Your boss is a micro manager. Ask him how much money was spent by the company to sharpen pencils. I'm assuming you make more than minimum wage.
1himfan666 0
that's when u tell ur boss I'm an engineer not 3
cheesed 0
my boss likes to send me emails with tasks such as : "shred the pile of paper on my desk" - WHILE I AM DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM
heyred 11
I do that too, when I'm documenting to fire someone.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
If he took the time to show you why couldn't he just do it?
skyeyez9 25
Sounds like my old boss. Luckily his ass was fired for being a douchebag. He would make you ask permission to use the restroom and you had to ask exactly like this or he'd say no: Mr Sharp, May I use the restroom?" He'd sit there and ponder for about 30 sec before he'd give you and answer. I hope he is dead in a ditch somewhere by now.
petrolhead 12
contact your HR dept. for proper training, well did you used clutch pencil in collage or you skipped the engineering design course ?
DANKshank 0
dumb