Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
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Top comments
BigShOtz07 5
This reminds me of the movie Teeth *shutters*
notjanedoe 27
That reminds me of cows *udders*.
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Comments (159)
karlcolt45 19
just dive under the gown and yell, “but I do!"
unknown_user5566 27
You're staring at her ******, it's only fair that it can stare back, right?
Maureenek23 10
Tell her you miss her whispering eye (It means ******) - role models
possy 19
Don't look it directly in the eye... It's a form of aggression, it will attack! Slowly back away, but don't make any loud noises. If that doesn't work, then get into the fettle position and pray you survive the attack!
DracoSpirita 21
*Fetal. What is a fettle? A female kettle?
SS99_fml 20
Whatever you do, do NOT give it a kiss!! O_O
Vanillanougat 14
This woman was actually being very considerate by reassuring OP. Just imagine how relieved he was to know he wouldn't have to deal with any teeth down there!
Vanillanougat 14
"It's okay to stare at my breasts, they like to stare at you too."
mattlw 25
I know that my comment will be buried, but I must ask. OP do you have no sense of humor? That is probably the greatest thing I have ever heard. It in no way, shape, fashion, or form belongs on FML. This story should be on the opposite of FML's website (if such a site exists). If that were my wife, I would high five her.
Axipiter 24
It's been my experience that if you say a posted FML doesn't belong on the site, your comment will get deleted. Just a heads up.
mattlw 25
Awwww *frowns
icryevrytime 7
This milkshake is so good... *downs*
mattlw 25
I have coulrophobia *clowns*
BradTheBrony 19
Hurr durr *downs* (I'm sorry if I offended anyone)
kasfire 16
what... the.... i dont even know how to react to that
SWC_Penguin 17
If that's the effort she goes to for her doctor I'm dying to know what tricks this woman does for her lover.
maximus_prime 24
She practicing ventriloquism for her lover, he can't even see the lips move :-/