Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML
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Top comments
relaxeazy 24
Got to take a second look perhaps next time?
ToySoldier92 7
YDI - I don't get why all the players feel the need to do it all the time..
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Comments (91)
aubama_fml 15
Don't be too harsh on those little Brazilians
PresidentNorth 16
Says hes in Canada. Clearly he's got to worry about Brazilians on the prowl.
aubama_fml 15
surely there are no brazilians in Canada
Soundslikeothers 15
I was gonna ask if you apologized, then I saw you were posting from Canada and realized that would be a stupid question.
I_cant_think 10
I really hope you weren't about to make a play when you did this.
A1BROS 4
"Today, I went to a baseball game...."
A1BROS 4
**** I meant football. Joke ruined.
GentlemanBastard 15
Joke was ruined from the jump, guy. Better luck next time. Here's your consolation prize.
ColonelCusswords 24
You tried...
RedPillSucks 33
And a football game broke out...
medic_man 13
life is rough kid
zahidnasir 22
Good that you realized your mistake dont do it again
mrningbrd 19
Guys, pleaseeee stop spitting in public. It's gross, and also a federal offense if you spit on someone else because of the diseases and such you could be carrying.
limabeans101029 21
I hate spitting in public too, but it's kind of different at a football game, especially since he tried to spit away from the other people.
GentlemanBastard 15
It's not just guys. I know some (very classy) ladies that will spit with the best of them.
doodlecloud 27
54 - A lot of people, myself included, use 'guys' as a general people term...nothing really to do with male or female. But yeah, I can't stand spitting either. Maybe it is different if you're playing sports but it's still kinda gross, especially when players might fall down into it, and it possibly normalises it for the idiots who do it just walking down the street...so I'd still try and hold it in until I really had to.
mkayden 23
Poor kid, now he's traumatized for life.
JBChristian 47
He's 10... Not a 3 year old.
doodlecloud 27
I honestly think you'd be more traumatised at 10 than 3. A 3 year old probably won't remember and may even not have realised what happened. A 10 year old will be well aware about how gross the situation is.
ColonelCusswords 24
Did the parents have something to say?
hplover7 11
And that is why people shouldn't spit in public places. It's disgusting.