Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
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Top comments
Ringmaster1 0
She was drunk, what were you expecting?
Aelaena 6
That was nice of you, at least she felt bad.
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Comments (82)
basketballbabee 0
FIRST. and wtf?
purplegee 2
at least she felt sorry!
kaykay5833 0
shit. #1 beat me to it... 2nd ?
Ringmaster1 0
She was drunk, what were you expecting?
ohmygodthisisuou 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She was latin american, what were you expecting?
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
LOL
EhLasalvadorena 0
not all latin american people are drunk and act stupid.
mcpicklejar 0
thumbs up for that one buddy
ForWhatItsWorth 0
Shouldave just let her stay there. You'll probably never see her again anyway. Agreed with nr 3 too. If you're getting yourself into something willingly, don't complain about it.
ddldave 0
Definitely agree, I would never drive someone like that home
jessicaclaire 0
So you would rather the drunk girl have driven herself home, then?
FBIWarning 0
yea instead you'd rather be a dick? good job
ForWhatItsWorth 0
He probably did it hoping she'd come on to him or something, how is that any better? The guy she was with shouldave done something about it.
girandwogpig 0
HAHA. Was she hot lol?
vola97 0
wtf is wrong with you SICKO!!!!!!!
Aelaena 6
That was nice of you, at least she felt bad.
VroomVroomVroom 0
Aha. xD
killuhb 0
Wait is this only an fml cause you had to babysit and couldn't take advantage?
wikifoo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Duh ! Keywords - drunk and in the car . Didn't you know , drunk venezuelans go in the trunk ? Back to DMV for you .
heavyt 0
ha