Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML
Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "So Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML
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Top comments
rachelottavia 16
I feel really bad for the person who lost his leg and was telling the story. To see someone fall asleep while recounting something that traumatizing probably hurt even more
oobergoober89 16
You kinda deserve it
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Comments (100)
EspecialK 3
I am laughing so hard right now!
lilycups 11
Is the support session because you're a recovering asshole?
archiecaine 1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
archiecaine 1
And for everyone judging, I'm a psychiatric patient. And disabled. I have these meetings every week. This is ******* hilarious.
bun_key0_1 20
Lol
Dissent21 3
To everyone judging OP; Empathy is important, yes, but if he's been going to these week after week, it's easy to become numb to it. I mean, look at where you all are right now. How many of you have an account on this website because you just empathize SO MUCH with all the posters. And how many of you are here because you laugh your ass off 90% of the time. Sure, I empathize with the guy who lost his leg, but I also get where the OP was coming from, and damn it, what he said was funny. Bunch of hypocrites, the lot of you.
Moonelo9 14
that's hilarious
Monster_Man 2
That's ****** funny