Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I was accidently stabbed in the shin with a pen, right before a long weekend. It will need stitches. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Show your switch blade skills on his face.
GhettoXmuffin 7
This is why I'm not having kids
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Comments (139)
luckoirish14 6
Sue!!
MoZZie_fml 0
that'll teach ya! dont flinch like a little pansy
rockon_fml 3
this screams Napolean Dynamite.
causticgirl 6
Someone should smack the rubber band kid's parents. They are obviously behind in the discipline area
DaMan25 4
Never play with knives
EmperorHilo 11
They will come out eventually just try not to le tit bother you.
crazyrunnergirl 7
And this is why I dislike kids
meemee123 4
Ur fault for playing with knives!! :0
Jirekianu2 19
He's a performer. It's not his fault the kid is a ******* delinquint
Chapin89_fml 4
I hope that kid became the center of attention when he was getting the worst beating of his life?
Glidefedt 6
He should've tabbed you.