Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I was accidently stabbed in the shin with a pen, right before a long weekend. It will need stitches. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Show your switch blade skills on his face.
GhettoXmuffin 7
This is why I'm not having kids
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Comments (139)
whitey53 5
What a little sharpshooter.
lovvetolaugh 0
I.would have pressed charges on the kid that is so wrong
mintstashinurtea 5
you should make sure his parents get "snipped" so they don't make anymore stupid little *****
MsJoyfull 4
I would've shot a switchblade at the kid.
brocode86 0
who performs with sharpened knifes?
RedPillSucks 33
performers who perform with knives. It's not quite as bad-ass if the knives are dull. I guess as long as no one calls you on it...
Miss_Bethica 11
herpaderp
Dixie___Normous 0
Next time use ur performer skills and dodge the rubber band then throw the knife at the kid. Then he would need stitches. It's that simple
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Punk ass kid.
stevenmx86 8
Well, you'd be bored too if you had to watch some jackass swing a knife around for any length of time.. What a wonderful "skill" you have there..
musicslamajama 0
Somebody's suing