Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
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Top comments
farmgirl 3
old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)
Higgyoo 0
Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.
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Comments (110)
Musemusic88 0
I'd hit it then quit it bro.
rednaxela_fml 0
good use of "whilst"
sparda4355 0
Cougar! go for it! (she might have money)
TheZephyrSon 3
Hey, look at the bright side. Having a granny stare at your package is better than no one staring at your package, right?
prettyxdemented 0
I do hate when people do this... but... how is this a FML? "Some old woman stared at my crotch, my life is so OVER!" Really now. Chillax. At least you know you have some sort of appeal to the female species, no?
paradiso24 0
so what? your life isn't f***ed. nice try.
housemaster 0
Pics of said crotch?
guitardedman 0
i dont understand how something that boils down to an old person checking out your dick makes it as an fml but my stories involving a 2nd degree burn on my face and getting my car vandalised don't. cry me a ******* river that someone thinks your attractive.
Chubtubdaplaya 0
How do you even know she was checking you? Maybe your pants were unzipped, maybe she was looking at something on the ground. Even if she was checking out your junk, which I highly doubt, how is that an FML? Get over yourself
aphrodita 0
Yeah, I kind of have to agree about this not being much of a FML, though I usually hate the comments where people say that (in a whining way). I mean, if it IS true, then... yeah, she may be elderly, but she used to be a woman your age, you know. Just because she got older doesn't mean her taste necessarily got worse. I would just take it as a compliment.