Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
farmgirl 3
old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)
Higgyoo 0
Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
anglcdvl89 0
Suck it up and take as a compliment, geez.
i8anfml 0
Number 8 for the win. What happned to people posting GOOD FML's, if anything you got a compliment, sure she's old, it's probably the first female to stare at your crotch though so smile and thank her douchebag.
LeftHanded_fml 0
No good FML's anymore..
NorfolkDude 2
What is this crap? How the heck you know she was staring at your crotch? Sounds to me like you're the perv since you can't get someone your own age so you fantasize about how granny wants to get it on with you.
annika_fml 0
Is the moderator of this site drunk? How are all of these piece-of-crap FMLs slipping through the cracks? Fail. Go home please.
Callyn 47
So what? Who cares, it's a compliment.
jtyrrell 0
Was she a GILF?!
catatonicsleep 17
maybe people aren't posting anything else so they post these....although, whether something is bad is a matter of opinion, not everyone has the same opinion, the world would be a very boring place if we did.
Zoa_fml 0
When you're an old man you're going to be wishing that elderly women would check out your junk!
pancakelover 0
Mama like...