Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
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Top comments
farmgirl 3
old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)
Higgyoo 0
Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.
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Comments (110)
perussian 0
not an fml
ebbasaur 0
Maybe she liked what you were offering. This is a GOOD THING! HAHA.
Tsukasa_fml 0
Who knows, maybe lazy eye.
fmlfmlfml15 0
#45 LMFAO #50 i was waiting for a reverse FML so thank you for that #61 but cmon u have to admit that this particular FML sucks and i think this guy was trying to sound sophisticated. FAIL. sounds more like a douchebag to me.
Tsukasa_fml 0
What's with this thing posting my comments but not showing them?
trishaaa 0
Cougar alert!
pleasetryagain 0
Oh no. Your life is so terrible because people find you attractive even if you don't find them attractive. That is a real problem.
chrisdaneownt 0
Today, I wasted my time reading an FML that, in an anti-climactic turn, ended up with a guy getting checked out by a girl. And he obnoxiously and incorrectly used the word "whilst". FML
MessyPaint 0
Yeah, this isn't an FML. On an unrelated note, I am ******* SHOCKED to see so many internets people spelling compliment correctly. Perhaps there is hope yet. :O
FML_x2 0
Dude, just don't look when she removes her dentures.