Health: Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed...

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

agreeclassic 23 670

vote type 1 2 704

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By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 14:45 - Malaysia

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How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

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jrey6104 4

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:07

I cringed when I read this.

TordNorski 30

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:08

My eye twitched when I read this.

Comments

seraphinas 7

Sunday 27 December 2015 1:59

My worst nightmare. Hope all is well!

loubabe69 19

Sunday 27 December 2015 5:43

Oh ****, that burns my eyes.

Pootispencerhere 1

Sunday 27 December 2015 16:28

Ouch! ;_;

Distantsoul 8

Monday 28 December 2015 22:49

Gaaahhh I cringed and shivered just so much nope, pretty metal because now you can cry blood ??

Crimsonsands 2

Wednesday 6 January 2016 7:25

if I could hit the agree button more than once I would.

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Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my 30’s, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML

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Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

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Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

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Today, I got into a screaming match with the mother of my kids. I told her they need to bathe more often. According to her, anything more than once a week is excessive and bad for their skin. My kids play sports and smell like puppies from the pound. She doesn’t care. FML

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

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Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML

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